Almost There Baby!

Things have been insane the last few weeks at TWK Intergalactic Headquarters. Most of it has been work and travel--gotta pay the rent--but also Teh Windknot is preparing to be completely out of pocket for a week on a (mirabile dictu!) full blown fishing trip. Been too busy even to toss a few 'maters Donny's way, even though he has been in the new again.

We are down the teh short strokes not folks. This afternoon, TWK braves the hell that is summer air travel to spend a couple of days doing the meet and greet in Teh Big Apple, but Friday a.m. (good Lord and US Scareways willing), you hero is hittng the road for ten days fishing in Michigan.

It ain't the most exotic locale, but it is the highlight of the year. For going on 15 years now, TWK and a couple of buddies have rented a cabin on the Holy Waters of the Au Sable. A cabin without a phone and even reliable cell phone service. A stint of pestering the feeshes late at night on the Au Sable and Manistee with mousies will work wonders. Sitting on the porch, looking at the river while drinking cheap beer during the day won't hurt much either.

I will definitely return refreshed and take up tweaking the Spring Ridge Club and other losers again. Who knows, I may even post some fishing pics.

The Truth Is Out There

Teh crack team in the basement of TWK's world headquarters is ready to blow the lid on the real mission of Field and Stream.

Most of you loyal reader(s) probably don't read such trash (except in the checkout line of the grocery store), but Field and Stream is a popular, mainstream outdoors magazine, known to snobs like TWK as a hook and bullet rag. One thing that F&S loves--almost as much as photos of guys with dead critters and B.S. bear stories--is ranking stuff. They probably are second only to People and VH1 in the number of rankings of the useless and unrankable.

A fishing pal, sent me a link to F&S's rankings of the best tailwaters in the U.S., presumably so we could share a good chuckle. I checked it out just to see how silly they were in choosing one fine well-known stream over another.

The article is mostly about the Green in Utah. Haven't hit it yet, but it isn't one to argue about. Then I got to the 'Best of the Rest' piece that is required in any ranking article and here is the summary:

Here's a quick guide to five of the best:

1. San Juan River [New Mexico]
2. Fryingpan River [Colorado]
3. Lower Sacramento River [California]
4. White River [Arkansas]

San Juan, Frying Pan, blah blah--all famous tailwaters. Then I got to:

5. Gunpowder Falls [Maryland]

WTF? The Gunpower? One of the top tailwaters in the US? Now, I love the Gunpowder and fished it all the time when I lived in the area--and even hit it a few weeks ago for old times sake when passing through--but no way is it one of the top tailwaters. Sure it may be one of the top tailwaters in the Bodymore-Washington Metroplex, but F&S listed it over some far, far better steams.

I was just about to close out of the window, when I noticed their latest list 150 Best Fishing Spots (near you). This one was complete with Google Maps of said spots. So, I checked it out in all the states with which I am familiar and it was even weirder than the tailrace list. Each state (that had all three) got a saltwater place, a bassin' impoundment and a trout stream. However the trout streams were either all very famous streams or completely wrong. Some crappy stocker stream that nobody but the greenest n00b would waste a minute on.

Then it hit me. Field and Stream is actually one of the good guys. Unlike many of it's 'highbrow' bretheren, F&S isn't telling anyone anything about where to fish, unless it is a stream everyone in the world already knows. Deliberate misinformation. A conspiracy.

Daddy likey!

Hail To The Victors Valiant!

No, Teh Wind Knot is not getting an early start on the college football season. Heck, he is not even a Big Ten fan.

Teh shoutout is for The Anglers of the Au Sable who just won an injunction in court against Merit Energy's plan to pump 1.2 million gallons per day of treated groundwater into Kolke Creek.

Merit bought some production property near the headwaters of the Manistee that Shell Oil had spent years polluting. As part of the purchase, they took over the requirement to do something about the toxic groundwater plume caused by the previous owners. Merit wanted to pump the groundwater, filter it and discharge it into Kolke Creek, which runs into the Au Sable river.

Forgetting the fact that this water might not be as squeaky clean as Merit says it will be, the simple fact of taking this much water that essentially runs into the headwaters of the Manistee and move it to the headwaters of the Au Sable is going to make a big difference in both systems. It is the kind of idea only Krushchev would love these days.

The Anglers of the Au Sable and local property owners filed a lawsuit and recently won an injunction to stop the plan.

The judge in the case held:

Plaintiff landowners have brought this action to prevent the release of treated groundwater into Kolke Creek as part of the Defendants' efforts to remediate a hydrocarbon spill. This court finds that the Defendants' proposed use of Kolke Creek is unreasonable, and grants a limited injunction to prevent unreasonable use, of the watercourse. In addition, this court holds that the proposed use would violate the Michigan Environmental Protection Act.

He goes on to note:

Given the delicate ecosystem of Kolke Creek, this court finds that it is not a suitable location to discharge large volumes of treated groundwater. This is especially true in light of the fact that Merit has other feasible and prudent alternatives to discharging the treated water.

A huge pat on the back goes out to The Anglers of the Au Sable, the landowners and Rusty Gates, who worked very hard on this one. Unfortunately, these folks have no time to rest on their laurels. They are fighting a plan to drill for gas near the Mason Tract on the South Branch in U.S. district court.

Dam The Salmon

In today's Wall Street Journal, Shikha Dalmia, an analyst from the libertarian think tank, the Reason Foundation, takes up the issue of the removal of the Klamath dams (subscription required).

The basic argument is that the radical environmental movement and their BANANA (build absolutely nothing anywhere near anything) approach to various energy issues make any attempts to reduce greenhouse gasses more difficult--and that this is at least as big an obstacle as the over-consuming American lifestyle the folks in Birkenstocks always rant about.

According to Ms. Dalmia:

Greens, it seems, always manage to find a problem for every environmental solution

With this, I would agree. The problem is that there is a problem for every environmental solution. Duh. There are no free lunches.

The opinion piece correctly points out that replacing this energy with natural gas would increase CO2 emissions by about 500,000 tons annually for a state that has ambitious reduction targets. This is an issue that will not be solved easily and inexpensively. Not with wind, not with nuclear and, granted, not by removing the dams on the Klamath.

Ms. Dalmia goes on to complain about the tree huggers:

Environmentalists don't even let many states, including California, count hydro as renewable

Guess what? Hydro is not renewable.

Sure, small hydro is not bad and most states count small hydro as renewable energy. However, large hydroelectric dams are perhaps the most ecologically destructive form of power we have. When you build a big dam, an entire ecosystem is irrevocably changed. By happy accident, sometimes that creates great fisheries where there was none, but sometimes it screws things up big time. And this is what happened on the Klamath (and virtually all river systems that support andromonous fish).

Even being in the energy biz, Teh Wind Knot does not begrudge environmentalists for being environmentalists. That is what they do. They oppose everything. It is sometimes funny to watch, such as the green vs. green fights over wind farms on the Appalachian ridges, but it keeps us honest. In the end, some sort of medium is reached, since nobody wants to go back to a pre-industrial lifestyle, but if they weren't there being BANANAs real issues would not be raised and worked on.

My main problem with the article is that Ms. Dalmia seems to abandon her organization's libertarian principles in finding a solution to this complicated problem. She points out that large hydro dams provide about 20% of California's power. Folks, that is way more than the national average--and we are talking about an essentially arid region. Why should California receive so much cheap, government subsidized hydro power when, according to the EIA, the national average in 2005 was 6.5%?

The fact is that California has long received low, subsidized energy from other parts of the country (and don't even start with the water consumption). The state is too crowded and has more agriculture than it can support without massive subsidies.

Pollution, including greenhouse gasses are externalities--something that affects folks other than those who decide the scale of their production. By imposing a cost on the producer of the externality, they will produce less than if it were free.

By subsidizing something you induce over-consumption. Sure, removing subsidized energy prices and water for agriculture will cause prices to increase and folks will move farming and manufacturing out of California. Is that a bad thing? I guess it depends on where you stand, but at least it allows people to make decisions based on the true costs of their actions.

In my opinion, restoring the salmon habitat that was destroyed in the name of subsidized electricity is a good thing. Those dams never would have been built today, since we have the pesky environmentalists to point out that unintended cost. If it means that folks--all of us, since this all moves through the economy--have to pay a little more for stuff, that is what it means. We have been paying too little for years because of the subsidies.

I am surprised that a libertarian think tank didn't think of this.

And Now A Word From Donny's Sponsor

TWK was doing some follow up investigation into the various members of the hated Spring Ridge Club (see Outing Teh River Nappers) and decided to check out their site to see what was up. I was displeased to find that most of the good stuff has now been moved to password protected members only area, since Donny's stuff was the best source for anti-SRC information around.

What really interested me was that Donny had gotten a new sponsor, in addition to the much overexposed Gary and Cathy Beck (Lefty seems to be laying low these days). The new sponsor? Frontiers International, the high end outdoors travel outfitter.

At first I was confused. Why would the same folks who will whisk you away for a luxurious tiger fish expedition, sponsor some third-rate, pay to play, trout chow operation? Then I understood the marketing genius behind this move. By supporting Donny and his ilk, Frontier obviously hopes that soon there will be no place to fish in the United States without paying an obscene membership fee and having a guide chum with a little Purina before you cast. When this happens, we will be forced to sign up for Frontiers' services just to wet a line.

Excellent.

Good News About The Road To Nowhere?

The Charlotte Observer is putting a fork in the Road to Nowhere. In an article they report that the Park Service has finally given up after over 60 years of trying to build this road in the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. I hope it is true, but this sucker has been tougher to kill than a snapping turtle.

If you fish or visit the GSMNP, you probably know about this boondoggle. If not, here is some background. During World War II, the federal government built a big dam and made Fontana Lake so that a nearby Alcoa plant would have cheap electricity to make stuff for the war effort. As a result, many families lost their land and were cut off from cemetaries that were on land that became part of the park. The government promised to build a road so they could drive to the graveyards as soon as the war was over. Things moved slowly but the work started in the 1950s and part of the road was completed but work stopped in the 1970s when engineering problems halted work.

Since then the Federal government has looked at many options, including a settlement with the county (to compensate them for flooded tax base), as well as finishing the road. Most of the folks in the region thought that a big check that could be used for schools, etc. was preferable to a road that doesn't go anywhere, but a few powerful politicians, with ties to the road construction business stopped any settlment for years.

Building the road would be terrible for the park. Not only would it clear some of the best wilderness areas in the park, but it would increase acid leaching into severely threatened native brook trout habitat.

Opponents of the road got some support when the NC General Assembly passed some environmental regulations to protect the stream and even more when Heath Shuler (yes, the same Heath Shuler on whom my beloved Redskins wasted a first round draft pick only to find out that he can't play football) beat Charles Taylor, the king of road building pork in Western NC in the last congressional elections.

Now, with Taylor gone--and with him the threat of the Park Service losing all its budget if they supported cancelling the road--the NPS has decided that they will drop plans to build the road and pursue a settlement.

This is very good news for brook trout, but it is not dead yet. There will be another study and comment period, but it does look like the road supporters are going to have a very tough time winning, much like the Redskins when Shuler was QB.

I am keeping my fingers crossed. If this sucker dies, look for Teh Wind Knot to form a committee to draft Norv Turner for president.

Another Smallie Kill In Virginia

Now it is the James. After the Shenandoah smallies have been devastated over the last three years by fish kills, one has recently shown up in the James--in fact in one of TWK's favorite spots on a favorite smallie river. While scientists don't know for sure what is causing the infections and lesions, they suspect it has something to do with runoff from poultry litter.

To get rid of the waste products from all those big poultry operations, the owners give the litter--wood chips on the bottom of the houses that the chickens poop on--to farmers to spread on their fields for fertilizer. This stuff is good fertilizer. Perhaps too good. The land is over fertilized and when it rains, it runs off into the rivers. It is very sad.

We have made a lot of progress on the clean water front over the years but there are still threats, development and agriculture being the biggest ones today. Developers are an easy target, but no politician wants to run afoul of the agribusiness folks. While they spin themselves as such, these folks are not the family famers with a few chickens in the yard.

We need to get serious about doing something about the waste from large animal feeding operations. Either that or pray for drought.

Read more here

Teh Wind Knot is back, baby!

Because of a perfect storm of RL issues, TWK was forced to abandon his adoring fans for a while. A combination of work, personal stuff, computer problems and, yes, even a little fishing when spare time was to be had, has kept your hero from this space.

Fear not. Things seem to be back at the slow boil level that is fairly manageable and this space will soon be updated regularly with the nuggets of wisdom that bring joy to your lives.

Back The Brookie II

The Eastern Brook Trout Joint Venture yesterday released its Brook Trout Conservation Strategy. The EBTJV is a partnership between state and federal agencies, academia and conservation organizations that aims to protect and restore habitat throughout the range of the Eastern brook trout.

This is the first pilot project under the National Fish Habitat Action Plan to get folks all over the country working together to protect habitat. This can work, as it was modeled after the North American Waterfowl Management plan, which was quite successful in helping the ducks and geese.

While the EBTJV is now a huge hydra of folks and organizations working to help the brook trout, it started as a grass roots organization. Way back when, some folks from the NC and TN Trout Unlimited councils got together to see how they could work together to protect and restore the Southern Appalachian brook trout. This effort was called "Back the Brookie" and the other states with brook trout in the SE were soon added. Even though it has been nationalized, it is nice to see it grow into something that may have a much bigger impact than even the original folks could have dreamed.

Fishing Access Fight Across The Pond

An article in today's Wall Street Journal (registration may be required) shows that water access is not just a problem in the U.S. It discusses a fight on the River Blackwater in Ireland, where local fisher folk have gotten into trouble for fishing waters apparently owned by a duke since the time of Sir Walter Raleigh.

At issue is whether the waters are owned by the billionaire 12th Duke of Devonshire, who has a fancy castle and fishing lodge ($4,000 a week to stay there and fish) on the waters, or if the waters belong to the people because the Magna Carta supercedes the Duke's ownership rights. The Duke claims his family has owned and paid taxes on the river for 400 years. The Magna Carta was issued in 1215. This is going to be one heck of a title search.

This flap has something for everyone, including a dam that has been ordered to be removed (the Duke is appealing).

While Teh Wind Knot is rooting for the little guy out of solidarity, this one seems to be a little tougher than Donny Beaver's outrage at the Spring Ridge Club. Perhaps, though, if the Duke loses, we might even be able to get rid of the silly King's Grant restrictions in the U.S. I'm not holding my breath, though.

Fly Fishing for the Terminally Lazy

A buddy sent me a link to The Digital Fishing Guide where for $44.95 you can download a bunch of gps coordinates for fishing spots.

Teh Windknot is agnostic on the posting of rivers and such on teh internets. It is rare that something that is truly a secret is ever posted and, even if someone was going to post the exact location of the sweet little blue line with all the brook trouts, most folks are too damn lazy to hike up there anyway. Still, it is always fun to troll a fly fishing message board by either posting locations or asking for them.

The Digital Fishing Guide goes one better. For a modest fee, they give you the exact location. All you do is plug it in to your GPS and get ready to take the hero shot. You can get directions to such little known ditches as The Gunnison, The Frying Pan and The White River. Who wouldn't pony up for that?

Some of my favorite gems from their top drawer copywriters:

This package will include the White River below Bull Shoals Dam and the Norfork River below Norfork Dam. These waters have produced some truly large fish. There is even a spot in this package where the one time world record Brown trout came from. This fish weighed 38 pounds.

Not so fast folks, that fish isn't there any more.

 I managed to get waypoints for the Rogue, Muskegon, Pere Marquette, Coldwater River, Manistee and the Au Sable Rivers. And packages for these rivers will be coming very soon.

Oooh. Gotta get that. Not like you can't find them on the free maps you get at the Welcome Station, but in a limited one time offer, Teh Windknot will tell you, for free, how to get to these hidden streams. I-75 N to Grayling. For the Au Sable, take a right and look for river access signs every mile or so. For the others take a left and look at the signs on the bridges you cross.

And my personal favorite:

If we don’t have the river you want to fish available, please let us know so that we can get the information for you.

So, if you have a favorite stream, but you are too dumb to remember where it is or, you simply just want to share it with everyone, let them know and you can pay $50 bucks to get back there. Hey, it is more reliable than bread crumbs.

Old Age: Teh Suxx0r

Man it sucks getting old.

Teh Wind Knot has just gotten back from a bidness trip that included four countries on three continents over the last week and a half. Your hero is exhausted and he has to jump on a plane to visit our nation's capital for a couple of days this afternoon. Ten years ago, that would be nothing. I used to have to go for a week or so at a time and never sleep in a bed--just airplanes. A quick shower and I was good to go. Not any more.

Same thing for fishing. I used to be hardcore, like The Wet Boots, willing to fish hard 24/7, if necessary. Eight straight days of stripping streamers fifteen hours a day in Chile was nothing. Just wrap some duct tape around the cuts on the fingers and keep getting it. Now I pace myself. I used to laugh at the old farts sitting on the bank waiting for a hatch to arrive. Why sit when you can fish? Even if nothing is happening, I can still try to dredge something up with a nymph or a streamer. I used to be able to swing the mouse until three or four in the morning then grab a few winks and be up in time for a trico hatch. Now I usually have to choose which way to go because I know it is unlikely that I will be able to get out of bed at dawn if I just got in an hour or two ago.

I like to think that I have picked up a little wisdom and cunning to make up for the lost energy, but I am probably just rationalizing. Oh well, at least you get to take in some of the scenery sitting on a log waiting for a hatch. I am more balanced now. That is my story and I am sticking to it.

Back The Brookie!

Teh Wind Knot was catching up on some web surfing and was checking out the TU Brook Trout Restoration page (formerly the grass roots Back the Brookie program before it was nationalized). One of the things that has been done as part of the Eastern Brook Trout Joint Venture is a watershed by watershed study of former brook trout water to see where the little fellas live now. The results are pretty sobering.



Green means that 90-100% of historical habitat is occupied by reproducing brook trout. Yellow is 50-90%; Red is 1-50%; Pink means that they are there, but there aren't good numbers on population; and Grey means that they are gone. Kaput.

It is a dire picture.

The reasons for the demise of brook trout are many and what to do about it is a complicated question. However, we should care about this, since the brook trout can be thought of as the canary in the coal mine for air and water quality. There are a lot of folks who live downstream of these degraded watersheds. If we can help the brook trout, we can help the peoples as well.

¡Estos Chilenos Están Locos!

Breathless rumors have been going around the fly fishing message boards (probably by the same guy posting on all of them) about a recent ban by the Chilean department of agriculture on folk's bringing flies made from feathers into the country.

Teh Wind Knot has not been able to verify this officially, but has heard it from sources more reliable than FF message boards (if there is such a thing) and, given previous experiences with Chilean customs, has to believe it is true.

The furor makes this sound worse than Pinochet's death squads or Allende's Cuban "advisors"--an evil plot by the government to force anglers traveling to flail the waters to support the massive local fly shop industry. I doubt it.

The Chileans may be overreacting to the bird flu scare, especially given that it is unlikely that the virus would be very happy in dead chickens instead of live ones. But Chile has a history of overreacting to such threats and also some good reason.

Chile is essentially an island. And before you accuse TWK of not being able to read a map, you have to remember that it is bordered on two sides by the Pacific. In the north, it is cut off by the driest desert in the world and has Los Andes protecting the Eastern flank. Because of this isolation, it has more in common with New Zealand than the U.S. and can lay claim to being home to more unique species than any other place in the world. This isolation allowed Chile to survive the phylloxera epidemic that destroyed the French wine industry in the 1800s (and did the same to its Northern neighbor, Peru). So, they have some reason to be overprotective at times.

If you are planning to go to Chile, don't freak and don't try to smuggle your favorite patterns into the country. Just leave them at home. You can buy flies there (mostly made in China like yours were) at reasonable prices. If you are fishing with a guide or outfitter, they will want to be helpful, not gouge you. That is not good for business. Besides, you probably don't have the magic bug in your box anyway.

It is a vacation. Chill. And enjoy the fishing. It is awesome.

Some Old Skool Tunes

Teh Wind Knot has been on a musical nostalgia kick lately--ever since a buddy called to say that Cheap Trucker's Speed was having a reunion gig next month in Morgantown. We are skipping teh CTS reunion, since it would involve going to West Virginia. On purpose, of all things.

However, it did cause us look back to some of the bands from the formative years. In the interest of spreading the love, I give you one of my favorite bands of all time, Jason and the Scorchers:



Many of you will be too young to remember teh suckage that was 80's music. If you listened to the radio or went to record stores (some of you will remember radios sans satellites and record stores) there was nothing but Eurotrash, synthesizer, Flock of Seagulls crap. Fortunately there were a few good bands that kicked ass, although never really made it big. Jason was one of these. And, they were much better live. Probably responsible for at least four of TWK's top ten shows of all time.

Enjoy.

Free Markets And Trout Streams

Once again, Thee Ass Hooked Whitey beat me to it.

In his post Who is the Property Environmental and Research Center and why do they hate us?, he brings up a New York Times article (subscription may be required) that brings some of the free market, property rights type arguments into the fray.

Since TWK is an economist by training, he can't disagree with many of these arguments (union rules, you know). The success of using property rights as one tool to prevent poaching of wildlife in Africa is a good example.

However, the SRC case is a different animal from, say, a bunch of folks chipping in to fix up a spring creek. The rights to navigable streams are publicly owned by the states. Allowing SRC to take over such a stream for nothing doesn't even do what the property folks argue. It is analogous to giving away grazing or mineral rights on public land. You get the same over-consumption of an underpriced commodity, except the consumers are different. It is just a transfer of wealth from the state and people to the SRC.

Now if the state of PA decided that the best way to manage its streams held in trust would be to lease the rights to certain sections of streams to fishing clubs like the SRC and priced it appropriately, I don't have a problem with that. The funds raised from these leases could be used for habitat restoration on other sections of stream that might badly need the funding or increased enforcement of game laws, etc.

This is not what happened with the Spring Ridge Club. They didn't pay to use the water that is supposed to be held in trust by the state for all its folks. They put up no trespassing signs and strung piano wire across the stream. Doesn't sound like an innovative, free market solution to me.

More River Nappers

We promised to continue outing the river napping members of the Spring Ridge Club. Somewhat delayed, due to events outside the control ot TWK's crack research team, here is the second installment

Lewis Campbell, CEO of Textron

Lewis B. Campbell is chairman, president and chief executive officer of Textron Inc. He also leads the company's Management Committee, International Advisory Council and Transformation Leadership Team. Campbell has played a key role in developing Textron's strategic and operational focus, reshaping its portfolio of businesses, and leading the company to realize enterprise-wide synergies to achieve greater operating efficiencies.

Textron

Barden Gale, Chief Investment Officer, ABP Investments

Barden Gale is Managing Director and Chief Investment Officer of Global Real Estate at ABP Investments US, Inc., the investment arm of Stichting Pensioenfonds ABP, one of the largest pension funds in the world. Mr. Gale is responsible for all real estate activities of ABP. ABP's real estate holdings are concentrated in securities of publicly traded real estate companies and selected private entities and funds in Europe, the United States and Asia Pacific.

ABP Investments

John Barrett, Barrett Production

Creator of Fly Fishing America and Fly Fishing Masters

Barrett Productions

There are many, many folks on Donny's Christmas card list. TWK will eventually out them all.

Teh Wind Knot Gets Some Fishin' In

It has been very busy at TWK Intergalactic Headquarters, so our hero has not been on the water much. However, on the way back from a little work travel, TWK got to stop and fish with his buddy, Mr. Lucky Sperm, on some private water (that is private, not privatized--TWK did not join the Spring Ridge Club).

It was chilly but the feeshes were there and were biting if you ran something deep and close to them. Somehow, we managed to do that a few times. Here is a pic of one that TWK caught close enought to Mr. LS to get its picture taken (but luckily far enough away so that the secret weapon was removed from its mouth before the snap).



Now these aren't the wiliest creatures in the water, since they don't get a lot of pressure, but it is still a great place to fish. Not dumb enough to venture a guess about its size, but I will point out to you hero shot haters (and to the ladies, of course) that TWK has very large hands.

Oops!

It appears the boys who run SEFF Forum with an iron fist have been too busy appointing more moderators and posting circa 1995 internet jokes to remember to pay their domain registration.

Teh Wind Knot dropped by to check out the latest posts on best line for a 5 wt and TFO rod rhapsodies and got the 'page of shame' instead.



A quick whois lookup shows that it expired today. I suspect the powers that be will figure it out and fix it soon. I hope so. I need some advice on rigging strike indicators for DH streams.

Outing Teh River-nappers

Google is your friend.

A member of Teh Wind Knot's large network of double nought spies used The Wayback Machine to get a member list of the Spring Ridge Club (it used to be on the site but they have taken it down).

Taking a page from Martha Burk's playbook, TWK thought his loyal reader(s) might be interested in knowing just who these folks are. You never know; you might want to switch cardiologists or move your 401(k) to a firm that does not try to steal trout waters from you.

So, as a public service, Teh Wind Knot's Research Department has been using our aforementioned super secret search engine to come up with some scoop on the membership. Here is the first installment, for your viewing pleasure:

Chris Maybury, Chairman of Beacon Events

Chris Maybury serves as Beacon's non-executive Chairman. He comes to Beacon after 10 years with the Institute for International Research where he served as Chief Executive Officer. Under his leadership, IIR grew into the world's largest conference and performance improvement company with revenues of US$900 million. Chris retired from IIR after its sale to Informa plc in June 2005. Based in Greenwich, Connecticut, Chris enjoys sailing and is an avid collector and wine connoisseur.

Beacon Events

McLane Cover, Managing Director, Think Equity Partners

McLane joined ThinkEquity Partners in February 2004 as a Managing Director and Head of Sales in the in the Boston office. He was previously with Citigroup Global Markets from 1994 through 2003 where he was a Managing Director in institutional equity sales. He served on several research, sales and capital markets steering committees and was the firm's leading producer for several years. Prior to Citigroup, McLane was a Managing Director of institutional equity sales at Kidder, Peabody and Co. from 1986 to 1994. McLane received a B.S. degree in finance, investments and economics from Babson College.

Think Equity Partners

Barry and Cathy Beck, Fly Fishing Celebrities

Photographers, writers, fly fishing instructors, and trip leaders, Barry and Cathy Beck have written several fly fishing books, and their photos and articles regulary appear in many publications.

Barry and Cathy's Sponsors

This is just a first installment. Unfortunately, since the Research Department is a lazy and shiftless bunch, we were not able to provide you with all of the members. Watch this space, though. More to come.

Teh Big D

I ran across The Wet Boots' recent post where he gives a shout out to the Delaware river. Since that is a river that I really enjoy fishing, it got me thinking.

Teh Wind Knot's first assault on The D was in the company of a buddy who is a Jersey homer but an otherwise fine fishing companion. It was an impromptu trip to kill some time before some event Jersey Homer's wife had planned that evening. As hard as it is to believe, TWK was completely skunked on that first visit. He did, however, learn the joys of a local delicacy: the Taylor Pork Roll. With egg and cheese on a hard roll. Yummy.

About a year later, TWK had to attend a wedding in upstate New York and decided to take a week to head up there and fish a bunch of the good streams from PA to New England. One of the stops was for a couple of days on The D. Teh skunking had left an impression and TWK was determined to bring the river to its knees. All that was necessary was someone other than Jersey Homer on the oars and your hero would show those fishies a thing or two. Wrong.

The thing about floating with a guide is that a decent guide can handle the boat so that as long as the sports can generally flop the fly over the gunwale, the guide can manage the drift and get the sport on the fish. It is not quite as easy on the Delaware. The fish in The D are selective and wild, wild, wild. Getting anywhere near them with a drift boat puts them down in the clear water.

TWK was having to make insanely long reach casts to rising fish his guide had spotted with binoculars as they subtly sipped dries. As The Wet Boots mentioned, a bad drift will generally put the fish down. It was sort of like bonefishing where the client almost never sees the darn things and just has to try to make the cast the guide calls for.

It was almost like work. Until the take. The fish in The D are big and can fight. The tally that day was not impressive, but the fish landed were. And landing them was an absolute blast.

Since then, I hit The D at least once a year, usually in the late Summer/early Fall when it is still hot at Teh Wind Knot Central but cooling off up in them parts.

This year, we are going to try it in May and bring along Lady Wind Knot. Can't wait. It is some of the most challenging trout fishing I know, but it is a great time.

You should definitely put it on the list if you have never been.

NZ blogger Bish on Fish posts this interesting and disturbing anecdote on the lengths some folks will go for the hero shot.

Years ago, Teh Wind Knot and his buddies were duck hunting and saw and dimed out a deer hunter who did something very illegal. While sitting through 'fish court' waiting to testify, there was a guy who was being prosecuted for shooting a deer at night and out of season. The way he got caught was that the game warden happened by a local taxidermist's shop and noticed a fresh deer that had been brought in for mounting. Can you imagine? Taking a deer out of season and having it put on your wall to show off to your kids?

Sadly, it seems that fly fishers are not above inflating their egos in a similar manner. TWK is not above holding a fish for maximum photographic effect, but check out the post above for something that goes way beyond that.

TU By Numbers--Does It Use Its Money Wisely?

A buddy of mine was grousing the other day about the fact that he had heard that TU spent only a tiny fraction of what it took in on anything having to do with protecting salmonids. Since Teh Wind Knot is pretty active in TU and a finance type, he decided to analyze the numbers and call bullshit on his buddy. Pulling the latest IRS Form 990 that all charities have to file, was pretty interesting to say the least. You can get it from TU's web site, although more up to date information is available at places like Guidestar.

Here are the basics, somewhat summarized from IRS speak:



Wow! That looks like an efficient organization. TU took in around $16.6 MM in fiscal year 2005 and spent around two thirds of that on Programs. Almost $11 MM to save the fish. Sounds good, right?



Well, if you look at what they spent on Programs, it is not quite as clear. The biggest line item was salaries and benefits for staffers. They spent a lot printing and mailing magazines and calendars (but unfortunately not enough for proofreading as their latest calendar has 31 days in February). TU spent only $569,000 for grants. That sounds bad.

Thinking that $3.1 MM for "Other Expenses" must be going to save the fishies, TWK did a little more digging. Unfortunately, TU doesn't really tell us where that money went. The biggest chunk is for Consultants at around $2.8 MM. Surely, those are lobbyists and scientists looking to save coldwater fisheries? I sure hope so, but I sure can't prove it to my friend, and, from my experience with the organization, I would suspect that some of that goes to renting lists, PR firms, graphic designers, etc.

One interesting thing is to look at the grants. Of the measly $569 k TU tossed out in grants, two thirds ($ 380 k) is the 10% rebate local chapters get kicked back from National on membership dues (and one could argue that should be included in fundraising expenses). Only $189 k went to stream improvements (and for you east coasters who are always griping that the money is all spent out west, you have a legitimate complaint).

What does this tell us? I don't know. I know I can't convince anyone that TU is an efficient organization, since with the most favorable look, only about 20% of annual revenues are spent on fish stuff. It is pretty clear that TU could do more in grassroots habitat work if they cut down on the glossy magazines, direct mail and boondoggles for staffers.

Why You Should Not Join The Spring Ridge Club, Even If You Have The Cash

As a public service to all you rich poseurs out there, Teh Wind Knot is going to give you the top five reasons you should not drink the Don Beaver Kool-Aid and join the Spring Ridge Club. I am sure after reading this primer you will find better things to do with your ill-gotten gains, like augmentation for your trophy wife.

1. It does not make you seem less nouveau riche:

This is not one of the grand old clubs that McGuane immortalized. Those good clubs want to make sure the money isn't going to be pissed away before they let you in. This is the sporting equivalent of the McMansion development in which you live.



2. It is not a good way to teach anything to your kids:

If you take take little Chad or Brandon (or whatever the fruit of your loins is called) up there every weekend, he will turn into a snot nosed little bastard. All he will learn is that hard work does not exist and everyone else was put on earth to wait on him. He will not even learn to fish. Sure he will be able to impress his friends with hero shots of the hawgs he yanks out and may learn to love fishing. However, his skills will suck. He will be okay at fighting large fish, but will have no earthly idea of how to find one on a real stream without a trout chow dispenser. Even worse, he will think he is the shit and forego college after Choate and move out west to 'become a guide'. But with no skills, he will be stuck as the loser fly shop guy all the guides make fun of and you will be sending him cash for living expenses (a new Clacka every year and tons of pot) for the rest of your life.



3. Spring Ridge Club is way too Republican:

Teh Wind Knot has cross referenced the membership list with campaign contributions and those guys throw way too much jack at the Republicans. That is sooooo 1999. Do you read the papers? Better ditch that gang and get on the new bandwagon for 2008, if you want to keep all that defense contracting work.


4. You are not helping the 'Resource':

Feeding Purina to trout makes them grow bigger, even in marginal water. That does not make you an environmentalist. Those stockers don't help the genetics and only crowd out what wild fish could live in the stream. Get a clue. Give that money to real habitat improvement if you want to feel good about yourself. Fed stockers are ornaments, just like the pagodas at Epcot Center.


5. It isn't even exclusive:

Do you think you have a special place where only the top tier can come to fish? Think again. Any mouth-breather with the cash can join SRC, or one of its sister franchises. Donny doesn't care whether you made your money honestly, stole it or even won the Powerball. All spends the same to him.

Smoke Filled Rooms

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Donny Makes Lemonade From Chicken Shit

The time share king of PA has taken a page from the great losers and cowards of history: after getting your ass kicked up and down the street, declare victory.

In response to the court taking him to the woodshed, he posted this crock on his web site. I post it here for because I am a great guy and I know you are all lazy, but I suggest if you want to read it, Google "Spring Ridge Club" and click through, so he has to pay for it. Even better, head to Trout Underground and click around until Google serves you up a link, so one of the good blogs gets a penny or two.

Below are some of my favorites. Since Teh Wind Knot is an experienced corporate warrior, the doublespeak has been translated for those of you who may not be fluent.

The Commonwealth seized control of the bed of the Little J in the early days of Spring Ridge Club

Translation: "Waaaaah!"

Thanks to our catch-and-release policy on the Espy Farm, the average trout in 2001 was from 16 to 20 inches and larger

Translation: "No way we were going to let anyone take those fish after we had invested so much money in trout chow"

“It was the classic case of David versus Goliath,” says Beaver.

Translation: "Who wudda thunk that little guy with that rock could whap me upside the head like this"

“I think it has been a win-win on all fronts,” Beaver concluded

Translation: "I gave Lefty, Joe and the Becks free memberships so they could take pics with huge, chow fed, fish to keep their endorsement bucks rolling in and sold memberships to all their fan boys for millions. Millllllllllllions! Bwahahahahahaha!"

In 1995, Donny quit his regular job and devoted full time to conserving these irreplaceable waters so that his kids and grandkids would be able to enjoy the same great fly fishing that his dad and granddads introduced to him.

Translation: "I'm getting paid like Trump, you beyotches!"

More Good News

Good news on the left coast. PacifiCorp has been ordered to modify its dams on the Klamath River, according to The Washington Post. Since modifying the dams would cost a couple of hundred million more than simply removing them and since PacifiCorp's owner, Warren Buffett, doesn't seem interested in floating the bill, they may come down.

Either way, this is huge for salmon and steelhead on that system. According to the Klamath Restoration Council, salmon could move twice as far up the river if the dams were modified or removed.

That has got to be good for the fishies.

A Victory Against The Man

Score one for the little guy. The fat cats at The Spring Ridge Club, including such notables as Lefty Kreh, are crying in their single malt scotch today. A judge in Huntingdon County, PA has ruled that the Little Juniata river is a navigable river. This means that any old fisherfolk, even those without fifty grand to join their club can fish the river along their property. Horrors. There may even be folks who don't wear those stylin' sherbet colored fishing shirts within sight of the exclusive club. What will Skip, Chipper and the rest of the members do to cope?

An article is on the Post-Gazette's site.

Serves them right for not letting Teh Wind Knot have a complimentary membership. May be time to grab a can of corn and head on over.

Expect more lawyers, guns and money to be flung by the membership, but it is nice to have a small victory against the privatization of streams I don't own.

Thee Ass Hooked Whitey Lays Some Awesome Tunes On Us

Thee Trouthole takes a break from fishing to educate us on the Louvin Brothers. While not fishing, the Louvin Bros definitely fit into the earthly delight family. If you have never heard of them, you must click the linky thing. Even if you are a fan, like Teh Wind Knot, Thee Trouthole has dug up an excellent clip that you probably have not seen and will definitely enjoy.

Teh Trout Underground Leaves No Footprint

Carbon footprint, that is. One of the good FF bloggers, Trout Underground has purchased enough CO2 offsets to have a carbon neutral blog. Even though Teh Wind Knot pays the rent (usually, but not necessarily on time) in the renewable energy business, it is not clear we are carbon neutral as far as the blog goes. TWK will have some of his underlings look into it, but it is not likely we can match Trout Underground's effort in reducing greenhouse gases. Methane is much worse than CO2 as a greenhouse gas, and it is unlikely that Teh Wind Knot can afford to purchase enough offsets to cover the noxious methane emissions that his current diet (an attempt to drop a few ellbees for summer hero shot season) produces.

Fly Fishing Shows

It is cold, the fishing is slow, football is on hype-hiatus for another week, college hoops hasn't really heated up yet and NBA is teh suckage, as always. But at least it is time for Fly Fishing shows!

Teh Wind Knot has correspondents at all the big FF shows, but it isn't really necessary. They are all the same. Every year. The famous personalities are the same. Lefty, Joe, the ever perky Becks. All have n00bs chasing them around like fanboys and will fight to the death if you even infer that ol' Lefty isn't the nicest guy ever to walk this earth.

Then there are the lodges. The latest in total luxury on some big famous stream where you don't even have to get out of bed since the fish will come to you. And the outfitters, blah blah blah.

But Teh Wind Knot's favorite are teh guides. Now, TWK is not a guide basher at all and has even been known to pay for it (but only to break out of a slump) himself. One thing you should remember about guide quality is that the good ones are already booked. They are not pimping themselves at fly shows because they are booked all season with repeat customers. You may get a trip with them if someone cancels at an off time of year, but forget the big whatsit hatch. Some rich dude has him booked all week for that. Guides at the fly shows are either teh suckage or just starting out and it is too soon to tell.

You would be well advised to stick to worshipping ol' Joe and Lefty, casting the latest wands you won't buy and perhaps picking up a good deal on some stuff the shop guys don't want to tote back on Sunday. You wouldn't buy a used car from a guy with a big "instant credit; come and get it" banner across the yard. You shouldn't book a guide from a FF show. Hell, you are better off skipping it completely.

Why can't they just shut up and get my coffee?

What is it with the folks at Caribou? Why can't they just take my order and get my coffee without trying to be my new best friend or trying to tell me what great folks they all are?

All I want to do is order my coffee (large dark roast with room for cream--not because I use cream but because if you don't tell them to leave some room between the coffee and the lid, it will spill all over your suit before you get to the car) pay my money and get on with it.

No, I don't want to buy one of your silly cards so you can get several weeks of my coffee spending even if I get hit by a bus. No, I don't want to tell you about my weekend or hear about yours. Yes, I know it is Monday and am not particularly bothered by it.

Today, I place my order and look up for the trivia question so I can use my vast store of useless information and earn an extra dime to drop in the tip jar. Today's question was rather long, but involved "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" which made it a good bet that I would score with this one. However, the guy behind the counter started trying to tell me something very important about the latest charity to which they are giving 10% of their profits. Good for them. Do you want me to donate my spare dime (or $0.20 if you shut up and let me read the trivia question)? I try to read the question. It must be a tricky one since any coffee shop regular is going to get any "Bill and Ted" question unless they go deep. But I can't. The earnest little man keeps telling me what wonderful folks they are and how this is such an important charity. Okay, whatever. I know you are good guys and that the Al-Queda rumors aren't true. The other person rings me up and I get my dime back before I can even read the stupid question.

The answer was Keanu Reeves! A laydown question and I couldn't even get it because of the yammering. I'll get you guys. It is Starbuck's for me for the next few days. Although, the problem with Starbuck's is that they don't have large and get all offended if you don't say "Venti".

A Good Read

Teh Wind Knot is not really a true crime guy and I am sure many of you don't read anything not by Gierach, but here is a pretty good one:
Darker than Night, by Tom Henderson

Think Deliverance meets Fargo. A couple of guys go hunting in Mio, MI and are never heard from again. About 20 years later, the authorities prosecute some local good ol' boys for killing them and feeding them to the hogs. Anyone who runs up to Michigan to fish the Au Sable and Manistee as much as Teh Wind Knot will like this book. It features many of the famed local watering holes where one often kills some time with a PBR while waiting until it is time to chase the Hex or swing Mr. Mousie for some of the nicer residents of the region. It sure made Teh Wind Knot think twice about making fun of the folks at karaoke night at Ma Deeter's in the future. Probably won't stop him, but may give him pause.

Welcome

Welcome to Teh Wind Knot's Garden of Earthly Delight. Here you will learn what is really a delight and what is crap. Unfortunately there is much crap out there, but luckily Teh Wind Knot will help you steer clear of it while the less enlightened simply mire up.