Thursday, February 1, 2007

Donny Makes Lemonade From Chicken Shit

The time share king of PA has taken a page from the great losers and cowards of history: after getting your ass kicked up and down the street, declare victory.

In response to the court taking him to the woodshed, he posted this crock on his web site. I post it here for because I am a great guy and I know you are all lazy, but I suggest if you want to read it, Google "Spring Ridge Club" and click through, so he has to pay for it. Even better, head to Trout Underground and click around until Google serves you up a link, so one of the good blogs gets a penny or two.

Below are some of my favorites. Since Teh Wind Knot is an experienced corporate warrior, the doublespeak has been translated for those of you who may not be fluent.

The Commonwealth seized control of the bed of the Little J in the early days of Spring Ridge Club

Translation: "Waaaaah!"

Thanks to our catch-and-release policy on the Espy Farm, the average trout in 2001 was from 16 to 20 inches and larger

Translation: "No way we were going to let anyone take those fish after we had invested so much money in trout chow"

“It was the classic case of David versus Goliath,” says Beaver.

Translation: "Who wudda thunk that little guy with that rock could whap me upside the head like this"

“I think it has been a win-win on all fronts,” Beaver concluded

Translation: "I gave Lefty, Joe and the Becks free memberships so they could take pics with huge, chow fed, fish to keep their endorsement bucks rolling in and sold memberships to all their fan boys for millions. Millllllllllllions! Bwahahahahahaha!"

In 1995, Donny quit his regular job and devoted full time to conserving these irreplaceable waters so that his kids and grandkids would be able to enjoy the same great fly fishing that his dad and granddads introduced to him.

Translation: "I'm getting paid like Trump, you beyotches!"

1 comment:

matt_stansberry said...

You know, after I read that, I felt a little bad. He's got a good PR person writing those responses for him. If they'd have had one state biologist quoted, I might have cared a little more. Also, it'd be easier to swallow the whole "Donny Beaver just loves him some trout" argument if he weren't charging 50k to join the club.

TU does a hell of a lot more with the $35 bucks I give them. And I get to catch WILD FISH!

I agree w/ protecting rivers from development and private clubs alike.